Photo © Aaron Saunders
For many of us who enjoy cruising, the sea is like a second home - one we become so attached to that we want to continue to sail it, even in death. But how do you go about burying a loved one's ashes at sea?
Longtime CruiseCritic poster Pam in CA faced this dilemma when her brother-in-law Jim became seriously ill and passed away last year. He had asked that his ashes be spread out at sea, so his family booked a cruise on Princess Cruises' Sapphire Princess and got in touch with the line to figure out how to properly arrange this.
Pam's story is reprinted here with her kind permission in order to better help other cruisers who may be facing the same considerations.
It is important to note that it is illegal to do this on your own without the consent of the cruise line, and ashes can only be disposed of in International Waters.
In her own words:
On April 16, 2010, I faxed my request to the Princess Marine Department, 661-753-0214, and included my full name, booking #, cruise # and date, cabin #, phone # and email address. I received an email response on April 19th from Janine Curry, Secretary to Alan Wilson, Vice President, Marine Operations, with the approval and a letter which I've copied below:
"Thank you for your request to spread ashes while at sea during your cruise onboard the Sapphire Princess, cruise #H102N, commencing January 5, 2011.
"We would like to inform you of the following:
* Ashes must be contained in a biodegradable urn
* Ashes/Flowers may only be spread in International waters
* In accordance with environmental laws, only ashes, biodegradeable urns and biodegradeable flowers are permitted to be spread overboard. Cards, paper, metals, plastics and other non-biodegradeable items are not permitted.
* Our ships do not employ a Chaplain
"The ship will be notified of your request and you shall be contacted while onboard. You will be informed of an appropriate time to carry out the spreading of the ashes. A member of the ship's company will escort you to a suitable private location and stay with you during this time."
Once onboard, I went down to the Passenger Services Desk with a copy of the above letter. Naturally, no one at Princess had notified the ship, but not to worry. I received a call from Trent, from Customer Service, the next morning and he told me he would check with the navigator to find out what days and times would be possible. He called me back the next morning to say that any time our third sea day on our way to Acapulco would be fine. After conferring with my sister, we set a time of 11am.
We all arrived at the Passenger Services Desk at about 10:45am and were met by Manuel, who was going to help us. He had arranged for a gorgeous flower arrangement (at no cost) for us to toss with the ashes and led us up to deck 7 aft. He had two crew members stationed on both sides of the ship who closed off the back of Promenade deck after we passed by. We went to the very back of the ship and had a few quiet moments while my nephew opened the box and then sent Jim's ashes out to sea. I followed with the wreath. We stayed there for about 10 minutes, each wrapped in our own thoughts and memories. It was very short and simple.
Princess couldn't have been more supportive or sympathetic. They were respectful, and it was just the way my brother-in-law would have wanted it, and my sister was comfortable with.
The above is not for everyone, obviously, but in case this is yours or your loved one's wishes, I wanted to share.
"Thank you for your request to spread ashes while at sea during your cruise onboard the Sapphire Princess, cruise #H102N, commencing January 5, 2011.
"We would like to inform you of the following:
* Ashes must be contained in a biodegradable urn
* Ashes/Flowers may only be spread in International waters
* In accordance with environmental laws, only ashes, biodegradeable urns and biodegradeable flowers are permitted to be spread overboard. Cards, paper, metals, plastics and other non-biodegradeable items are not permitted.
* Our ships do not employ a Chaplain
"The ship will be notified of your request and you shall be contacted while onboard. You will be informed of an appropriate time to carry out the spreading of the ashes. A member of the ship's company will escort you to a suitable private location and stay with you during this time."
Once onboard, I went down to the Passenger Services Desk with a copy of the above letter. Naturally, no one at Princess had notified the ship, but not to worry. I received a call from Trent, from Customer Service, the next morning and he told me he would check with the navigator to find out what days and times would be possible. He called me back the next morning to say that any time our third sea day on our way to Acapulco would be fine. After conferring with my sister, we set a time of 11am.
We all arrived at the Passenger Services Desk at about 10:45am and were met by Manuel, who was going to help us. He had arranged for a gorgeous flower arrangement (at no cost) for us to toss with the ashes and led us up to deck 7 aft. He had two crew members stationed on both sides of the ship who closed off the back of Promenade deck after we passed by. We went to the very back of the ship and had a few quiet moments while my nephew opened the box and then sent Jim's ashes out to sea. I followed with the wreath. We stayed there for about 10 minutes, each wrapped in our own thoughts and memories. It was very short and simple.
Princess couldn't have been more supportive or sympathetic. They were respectful, and it was just the way my brother-in-law would have wanted it, and my sister was comfortable with.
The above is not for everyone, obviously, but in case this is yours or your loved one's wishes, I wanted to share.
Thank you, Pam, for letting us share your heartfelt story. Those who may be interested in securing similar arrangements should get in touch with their cruise line of choice with as much advanced notice as possible.
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